#16 The Fellowship: Who brought the bowls?

Good morning wonderful humans!

Happy belated Mother's Day to all those incredible moms out there who make our world brighter and make life possible!

I’m excited for this week’s edition. I’ve got quite the weekend adventure to share, and some updates on all those experiments and commitments I've been writing about.

If you’re new, welcome! I'm Ben! This newsletter is all about exploring my curiosities and sharing the things that most energize, challenge, and inform my life.

👉 Learn more here

Missed past editions? Start with Nerf Gun Fight: Fun & Play, The Power of Now, Man In The Mirror.

Let’s get into it!

Bring The Spoons

"I don't know what I was expecting from this weekend but that was definitely not it.”

It began with a simple Thursday evening text:

"So are we doing this or not?"

Five guys responded with variations of "I'm in."

Next thing I knew, the camping site was booked from Friday to Sunday.

In preparation, we scheduled a logistics call.

Something I didn’t think we needed to do considering the short trip.

Nevertheless, a few of us got on a call. My friend made sure everyone was good to go.

We assigned meals: stew dinner #1, steak dinner #2, eggs, and enough snacks for a few days.

Sleeping arrangements: one tent, cushions, pillows, blankets.

We added hammocks, chairs, pots, pans, and clothes.

The weather forecast promised blue skies and temperatures in the high 70s. Perfect.

We were only going for a day and a half.

Not much is needed.

The five of us (plus one very excited dog) loaded into two cars and arrived at the campsite.

First things first. Let’s set up the tent.

We spread the tent across the ground.

It was a massive tent. Capable of housing five big bodies.

"Let's get the poles and rain tarp," I said confidently.

My friend rummaged through the tent bag. His movements grew increasingly frantic.

He looks up at me with a blank stare.

“I can’t find the poles,” he said.

"What about the tarp?" I asked, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

He shakes his head slowly

Five pairs of eyes looked up in a moment of stunned silence.

Then, a roar of laughter broke out.

3 mins into camp trip: Looks like we are sleeping outside. Good thing the forecast is clear.

The laughter lasted a few more seconds before five guys went into problem-solving mode.

We begin throwing out ideas and assessed the surrounding area.

We managed to scrounge together five pieces of rope and tied the top of the tent and each corner to the surrounding trees.

It wasn't pretty, but it would have to do.

20 mins into camping trip: Back in business!

After setting up our beds, we took a stroll around the campground.

Full RVs and campers surrounded us, each with ambient lighting delicately strung across trees.

I glanced back at our precarious tent contraption and wondered, "Can you tell whose first time camping it is just by looking at their site?”

As the sun set, our anticipation grew for the promised beef stew dinner.

I was gathering something from the car when I heard:

“Did anyone bring the bowls?”

Silence.

“Did anyone bring spoons?”

More silence.

"I thought we only needed plates and forks," someone finally admitted.

Round two of laughter erupted, louder than before.

4 hrs into camping trip: We sat at the picnic table with plates and forks in front of us, eating the beef stew.

Let's just say not much broth made it past our forks that night.

As darkness fell, we filled the night with conversation, music, and some truly phenomenal cookies.

Eventually, we piled into our makeshift tent, ready for a full day tomorrow.

Lying on my back, I gazed upward to find an unexpected silver lining to our tarp-less situation.

A wonderful view of the star-filled sky.

6 hrs into camping trip: Sleeping under the stars.

Morning arrived with renewed energy and were ready to enjoy a day of relaxation.

The state park had a swimming area along the river open to campers.

We hiked 15 minutes up stream and found a secluded spot by the water.

In a moment of collective agreement, my frined agreed to lead us through a breathwork session.

The sun beamed down as five shirtless sat criss-cross in the soft grass along the riverbank.

My friend began to speak:

“Feel your feet…”

For the next 10 mins we went through a series of inhales and exhales.

As I was breathing something unexpected happened.

A single drop of water hit my leg.

That's weird. Maybe some mist from the river?

Then another drop. And another.

It began to rain.

I couldn't help but smile as thunder rumbled in the distance.

The dog, Levi, started barking anxiously.

My breathing quickened, but I kept my eyes closed as Nick continued undeterred:

“You may feel your nervous system up-regulating with the surrounding environment”

As the rain intensified to a downpour, I thought, "Yep, nervous system definitely up-regulated."

“Continue breathing through this external and also internal storm.”

So we did. Five guys, eyes closed, rain pelting our skin, thunder growing closer.

16 hrs into camping trip: Torrential downpour breathwork session.

The session concluded and we finally opened our eyes.

I’d never been in such an experiential breathwork session in my life.

Powerful.

Then reality came crashing back.

Our tent!?

We hastily gathered our belongings as the storm doubled its efforts.

The once-dirt path had transformed into a mudslide as we sloshed back to our cars.

You could only hear the hollering and laughing amongst us as we surrendered the day to the elements.

Fifteen minutes later, drenched to the bone, we returned to our campsite.

We found exactly what we expected. A soggy, muddy mess with water-logged bedding.

18 hours into camping trip: Soaked beds

Huddled under our table shelter, toweling off with smiles on our faces, we collectively decided to cut our trip short.

The unanimous verdict?

What made the trip wonderful wasn't what went right.

It was everything that went "wrong" that created the space for laughter and the joy of surrendering to life's unpredictability.

Maybe next time we'll have a logistics call before the logistics call.

When was the last time you planned an experience and things didn't go your way? How did you handle it?

Experiment Updates:

In past newsletters, I've shared various commitments and experiments.

Here’s an update on how those things have been:

• Weekly Newsletter: In my March 10th edition, I committed to posting every Monday for two months.

  • Result: This marks two full months! Some weekends, writing was the last thing I wanted to do. But it's gifted me with regular reflection and articulation of my experiences. I went from 25 to 54 subscribers in this time. I'm continuing this practice for the foreseeable future!

• Money Coffee Chats: I committed to taking ‘Money’ out for coffee each week in April to develop my relationship with it.

  • Result: In complete honesty, I dropped the ball here. I didn't prioritize this commitment, and it slipped through the cracks.

• Full Body Living: This experiment aimed to shift my experience from living primarily in my head to embracing my full body (head, heart and gut)

  • Result: After five weeks, I've found this practice both new and exciting. I see the difference in the quality of my life when I drop into my body versus stay in my head. My journey to embodied living continues to unfold daily.

• LinkedIn Posting Challenge: I committed to posting consistently on LinkedIn for a month. I wanted to allow myself to be seen more.

  • Result: I managed four posts total. I had several people reach out to me, a few coffee chats initiated and a few opportunities present themselves. It also brought up fear of other people’s opinions and the power it has on me in different moments. This experiment clarified that LinkedIn isn't where I want to invest my creative energy right now but I am grateful for what it brought me.

• Forest Bathing (Shinrin-yoku): Two months ago, I committed to doing a week of forest bathing (going out into nature).

  • Result: Instant impact. The more I am with nature the more clear minded and present I am in my life. It will be a continued practice!

• What Type of Man Do I Want to Be?: This ongoing exploration into my personal definition of masculinity.

  • Result: Incredible growth! My current focus centers on commitment, integrity, and being my word. This journey of creating my version of a man continues to surprise and inspire me daily.

Thank you for reading another edition of The Fellowship! Your presence here means the world to me. If something in this issue resonated with you, please share it with others who might find value in it.

Currently Reading: "Many Lives, Many Masters"

Currently Looking Forward To: Running health week at Edge Esmeralda

Peace and Love,

Ben