#8 The Fellowship

Hi wonderful people!

What a week it has been!

For those who are new, welcome! This newsletter explores my four pillars of life: society, spirituality, human psychology, and nature.

Let’s get into it!

Society and Spirituality:

Rarely do we get a chance at redemption.

A lot of life is spent thinking about moments we wish we could get back.

Most times, we don’t get a do-over. Instead, life gives us the opportunity to be curious about what those experiences taught us and how we carry them forward.

A month ago, I was sitting outside at a Thai restaurant with two friends. We were talking about improv comedy. How human creativity comes out when there’s no script or plan.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise. Across the street, a woman had parked in a tow-away zone. Her car got booted.

But instead of accepting that she had a boot on, she tried to drive off. She got five feet before the boot ripped off her front fender. The security officer who had booted the car just stood there, watching.

In that moment, a voice inside me yelled: Go HELP.

For five seconds, this voice was clear. It was strong. It was mine. Then, a flood of other voices took over:

"How would you even help? Why isn’t the security guard stepping in? People don’t always want your help. Why do you always feel the need to get help everyone? Why do you have to be the hero?”

So, what did I do? I stayed seated.

I left that dinner with a pit in my stomach. That night, I sent a voice memo to a friend about the immense guilt for not doing anything.

Over the next few days, as I journaled, something became clear:

We all have an innate desire to help others. Over a process of time that desire gets suppressed.

As a kid, I loved going out of my way to help. Opening doors, picking up things people dropped, making others feel seen and known. And for a long time, that brought me joy. But at some point, I found myself in environments where those small acts were met with resistance.

Why do you always have to be the hero? Are you trying to make me feel bad by doing that?

Slowly, I started associating helping others with hurting others. And so, I stopped.

That night at the restaurant, the voices that stopped me from helping the woman? They weren’t mine. They were voices from my past environments. I had allowed other people’s voices to override my own. I pushed down my own voice.

Here’s the thing: For those who commit to reconnecting with yourself, all the things we once pushed down resurface. And our level of growth and unstuckness is determined by how willing we are to face them.

When we try to connect with ourselves, we’re making a commitment. To not push those voices and feelings down.

Eventually, we reach a point where we either explore those emotions or avoid them and remain stuck..

Now, for the good part…

Last Saturday, I went back to the same Thai restaurant with two different friends.

As we were eating, a car pulled into the exact same tow-away spot. The driver left his hazard lights on and went inside.

Two minutes later, the same security officer approached with the boot.

That voice returned. Go HELP.

I looked around and had no idea where the guy went.

This time, I acted.

I ran inside and asked if anyone owned the car. No response. A waitress overheard and began checking with the other tables.

Outside, the officer was already taking a picture of the license plate. My stomach knotted.

Then, a man flew out of the restaurant toward his car.

I think he still had to pay the fee, but as I watched him talk to the officer, I felt an overwhelming sensation of love for myself. A deep reconnection to a part of me I had ignored.

I left that dinner with gratitude. A rare second chance. A reminder that life often presents us with the same lessons. Again and Again. Until we finally listen.

Is there a voice inside you that you’ve been pushing down?

Nature:

In Japan, doctors now prescribe Shinrin-yoku. It’s used to treat depression, anxiety, and stress.

Shinrin means forest. Yoku means bath.

Forest-Bath.

Simply put, it's the practice of immersing yourself in nature. Breathing in the air, noticing the colors, textures, and sounds.

It’s part of the preventative healthcare system in Japan. Studies show that it improves sleep, mood, focus, and overall well-being.

For those of us inside all day, we cut ourselves off from a deeply human connection to nature. Nature is our life source. It gives us the air we breathe.

Consider this a reminder: step outside, breathe, walk barefoot in the grass, feel the sun, whatever you can.

I’ll be prescribing myself some Forest Bathing this week. Maybe you will too.

Human Psychology:

Ever made a decision and immediately felt sick to your stomach? Or the opposite, felt a vibrational sensation throughout your body?

Our bodies are always communicating with us. The problem? We rarely listen.

In early November, I was invited on a retreat. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go, but logically, it made sense. The deadline to sign up was approaching, so I booked my flight and put down my deposit.

The next morning, I woke up feeling like I had a thousand-pound weight in my stomach. I didn’t full know why, but I knew I had made the wrong decision.

I canceled the trip.

Three weeks later, during the exact weekend I would have been at that retreat, I had a conversation that led me to start this newsletter and step away from my previous work to open up space for my next evolution of life.

Looking back, I wonder: How could I have trusted my body sooner?

Last week, I met a gentleman named Michael. At one point, he looked at me and said, “You hold a lot of energy behind your eyes.”

I had little idea what he meant. But when I took a deep breath, I felt a tension in my eyes begin to release. I was curious to learn more.

Michael explained to me that our bodies are sensory organs. Each part of us—our gut, heart, hands, feet—processes information that our minds often ignore.

It’s similar to our five senses. Each sense comes from a different place and allows us to experience different things. Our ears are best at receiving sound. But if we tried to only use our ears for everything, we would shut ourself off from the other experiences of touch, taste, sight, and smell.

When it comes to our inner world, many of us, live our lives using only one part of our body. The head.

Our head is a beautiful part of what makes us human. It also has its limitations and can’t do what the heart or the gut can do.

Michael then asks:

“If you were to shift your energy from your head to your gut, how would your experience of the world change?”

My Answer: I’m not sure, but I’ve been exploring it for the past week..

I’ve been practicing taking a deep breath, closing my eyes, and directing my energy from my mind down to my heart and gut. It feels like turning the volume down on my thoughts. They’re still there, but they don’t control the show anymore.

When the volume is down, I have space to listen to the other parts of me.

Living full-bodied is a new journey. If you’ve had insights or ways you’ve connected with yourself, let me know!

I’ll keep you all updated and report back.

Thank you for reading another episode of The Fellowship! Grateful for all of you!

If there’s someone who could benefit from this, send it over!

Music Video I Listened to: U2, In the Name of Love—shoutout to my dad for sending it my way!

Book I’m Reading: Money Is My Friend, Phil Laut

Thing I Am learning About: Bitcoin, fascinating!

If you’d like to learn more you can visit my website or find me on x.

Peace and Love,

Ben