Are Your Best Days Behind You or Ahead?

Hellooooooo!

What a wonderful existence of life. This is my last time writing from Bozeman! What a time it has been! Next week will be from Maui.

Biggest learning this week:

I discovered a hidden belief that it was safer to downplay who I am than risk being misunderstood.

New motto: Being misunderstood is a rite of passage to speaking my truth.

Speaking my truth is more important. How wonderful!

Stillness = Power

This week, I had one of the greatest unlocks in a long time.

One that brought me back to my core essence.

Early last week, I felt disconnected from my heart and body… and I didn’t understand why.

I was doing all the “right” things — meditating, journaling, eating well, exercising, creating beautiful things — and still, I felt numb. Distant. Unmoved.

Why?

I imagined life like a three-layer world:

• The land above: where life is active and visible.

• The ocean: where things move but remain unseen.

• The earth’s core: where stillness, heat, and essence reside

I realized I’d been living at the surface and floating through the ocean… but hadn’t touched the core in a while.

Then a friend saw through it all and asked:

“Ben, what would happen if you were just still for a whole day? Go sit by the stream and be still.”

I replied, “Why would I want to do that? I’m in the middle of creating. Why stop?”

But what if stopping is part of creating?

I forcefully shut my laptop, walked down to the river, and all I could think about… was the work I wasn’t doing :)

Stillness is a practice.

Later that week, during a call with another coach, we started riffing on what we’re creating. I said: “I’m creating stillness.”

She guided me into a deep meditation and what unfolded was powerful:

I began in my mind. I saw a bright yellow landscape, with paths stretching out clearly. The word creation in the center. This felt safe. Exciting. Known.

Then I dropped into my heart. The light changed to deep red and orange, swirling over a dark blue ball. The paths disappeared. I was in unknown territory.

I couldn’t control what would be created there. And that terrified me.

But then one word appeared: POWER.

All worry and judgment dissolved.

I realized that this is the place where true creation lives.

The kind born not from agenda, but from true source. I knew this was the next level of faith for me. A life rooted in deep trust.

I’ve been living from that space ever since.

If you're curious, here's a practice I did early this week in effort to cultivate stillness:

1. Wake up — Journal the dream I just had (if possible)

2. Shower — bring presence to the whole process

3. Get dressed — pay attention to the whole process

4. Eat Breakfast (or drink water if you don’t eat breakfast) — savor each sip/bite

5. Go for a walk, find a bench to sit on — sit and just notice

6. Write a poem — "I am ____"

7. Share it

The essence? Slow down. Pay attention. Be with life.

Here’s my poem. Aspring poet? :)

My mind still drifts — but each time I return, the muscle strengthens.

My New Perspective On Relationships

I’ve heard it many times before:

“Create your vision of your future partner.”

Sounds good, right?

Frankly, I’ve been resistant to ‘creating my vision’ because it didn’t seem resonant.

It just wasn’t how I roll.

But this week, I learned something that has me excited to create my future partner:

If you only focus on the vision — the picture, the checklist, the outer frame — you might end up with someone who fits your vision… but not your values.

And aligned values are the true essence of a relationship.

Let me explain.

In the past, I thought I wanted someone multi-lingual. Able to speak many languages.

But the truth beneath that vision?

I value someone who can connect deeply with people from all walks of life. Someone who feels at home in many cultures. Even if they only speak one language.

If I hold too tightly to the image of multi-lingual, I miss the essence.

The deeper challenge is this:

How much of your vision are you willing to let go of to receive what you actually want?

What if the love of your life comes in a totally different package?

Can you recognize the real thing when it doesn’t look how you imagined?

For me, that meant asking hard questions:

• Do I want someone who loves nature… or do I actually value a partner who feels close to God and their own source — and for me, nature just happens to be one of the places that connection flows most freely?

• Is it about the hikes and the camping trips? Or about being with someone who’s nourished by something bigger, someone who returns to stillness the way I do?

Your vision is not the enemy. It’s a clue.

But it’s only one level of the map.

The key is to go deeper.

Take your vision, and ask:

Why do I want this? I want ___ because beneath that I value ___

This podcast episode inspired many of my thoughts.

Are Your Best Days Behind You or Ahead?

I walked up to the downtown supermarket hungry for food.

But as I watched the shoppers move around, I paused and asked myself:

“Ben, are you actually hungry?”

My response: “No. I just don’t know what else to do.”

“Do you want to be still?”

“Yes. I do.”

So I walked to a bench around the corner and sat.

I watched the cars pass. The people. The swirl of life around me.

After some time, a red truck pulled up. The man driving rolled up his window, glanced over and smiled at me.

He stepped out. We started talking.

His name was Ben, too! 71 years old. A mechanic, a pilot, an environmentalist.

After 30 minutes of beautiful conversation, I asked him:

“Do you believe your best days are behind you… or ahead of you?”

He paused.

Then smiled.

“Well, both. I’ve had some incredible days behind me… and I’ve got some wonderful ones ahead. You could say I’m a bit of an optimist.”

I beamed. I felt that.

And it wasn’t surprising to learn he was preparing to move across the country soon. A new adventure.

This question, past or future, has come up in several conversations lately.

For me?

Both.

The best days are behind me and ahead of me.

The painful ones too.

It’s all part of the beauty.

What about you?

Are your best days behind you or in front of you?

I’ve been doing long Human Design sessions with friends and family lately… and it’s been life-changing for all of us. It’s been a gift for me and I thought I’d offer it to you!

If you're curious to understand yourself more deeply reply to this email and we’ll find a time!

Thank you Arch for your incredible hospitality and friendship this past month. You light up the world! I’m grateful to have met and lived with such a wonderful human being. Until next time!

With all of my love,

Double B