#18 The Fellowship: Let’s Get Started!

Hello wonderful humans!

Life is full. This past week took me through three cities in three days, and my body is reminding me to take care of it.

As I put the finishing touches on the health week kickoff here at Edge Esmeralda, there's a lot swirling around.

In many ways, I have little idea where I'll be a month from now. It excites me. It also startles me. Both can be true.

If you’re new, welcome! I'm Ben! This newsletter is all about exploring my curiosities and sharing the things that most energize, challenge, and inform my life.

👉 Learn more here

Missed past editions? Start with Nerf Gun Fight: Fun & Play, The Power of Now, Man In The Mirror.

Let’s get into it.

I Am Trust

It was Saturday evening in Healdsburg, California.

Population: 12,000. Nestled in wine country like a secret the locals keep to themselves.

As I approached the outdoor venue for the Edge Esmeralda kickoff, staff and attendees greeted me with big smiles.

Right next to the entrance sat a simple display: two baskets full of rocks, markers piled between them.

The guy behind the table smiled. “Would you like to set your intention?”

“Uh, yes.”

"Pick a rock you like and write a word or phrase. Something you want to embody during your time here,” he said.

I grabbed a marker and wrote:

I am trust

Fast forward, the event finished and I’m at my hotel checking-in.

"Can you spell your last name one more time, sir?"

“B-R-U-M-M-E-L-L”

Keys clicking. Pause. More clicking.

"Um... I'm not seeing you here. Do you know when you booked?"

"I didn't book it myself. I'm running one of the tracks, so the Edge team handled it."

A member of the Edge team, Graeme, came down to investigate. More key clicking.

"It looks like we have you scheduled to check in... tomorrow."

"Any way we can move him to tonight?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry, but we're completely booked."

Graeme looked at me. I looked at him.

"Well, looks like you're sleeping on my couch," Graeme said.

I smiled and repeated those words in my head:

I AM TRUST.

Like Attracts Like

The other day I met some of my friend's childhood crew.

It’s always fascinating to see someone you know through completely different eyes.

One of them asked, "Are you reading any books right now?"

Well…as some of you read in last week's newsletter, I am indeed reading a book.

"It's called 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged," I said.

Cue the wide eyes.

Quick Note: the more comfortable I become with all of me —the weird, the uncertain, the works-in-progress—the more confidently I can share whatever I'm actually doing.

I dove right in, sharing some of the questions I had been answering:

• How were you disciplined as a child, and how will you discipline your kids? What would you keep or throw away?

• What is your greatest fear or concern about getting married?

• What are five reasons someone would want to spend the rest of their life with you, and what are three reasons they wouldn't?

One of them finally asked me, “Why are you reading this in the first place?”

That's when I realized there was more to the story than I'd shared last week.

A few weeks ago, I was walking back to my car after a date.

It was one of those beautiful Austin spring nights. That kind of evening that makes me grateful to be alive.

The date had been great, but I felt a little bit of disappointment.

I'd asked a few questions about marriage and family.

But I got very little. She hadn’t really thought about that.

For some reason, I was more somber to this response than others.

I realized it was because I wanted to be with someone who had thought through these big questions.

I wondered why I wasn’t attracting someone who had thought about these things.

Then I walked myself right into the mirror.

Honestly? I hadn't even asked those questions of myself.

It was by no mistake that I was attracting the people who were exactly as thought-out as I was.

Would you look at that.

So here I am, doing the work. Because I can't wish for others to be something I'm not willing to become myself.

As I was reminded recently: "To get an incredible spouse, you need to be a person who deserves an incredible spouse."

I've got my work cut out for me.

Thank you for reading another edition of The Fellowship. It makes me happy knowing you're here, and if someone you know could benefit from today's story, please share it with them.

This week: A full week ahead! Health Week Kickoff is tonight! Events, speakers, and experiences! I’m sure I’ll have a thing or two to share in the next edition!

Peace and Love,

Ben